Right from childhood as we grow up, we might have been taught to do, to act in a more perfect way. It is taught within the schools, society & everywhere. Even while doing our job we might have faced this awkward situation of being perfect. Let’s have a discussion to find it out reasons not to judge people from our perception.
What is perception?
Perception is the ability or the way to hear, see, interpret or understanding things through our senses. Sometimes we have seen people become judgmental regarding us on the basis of their perception & we are being tagged as ‘not perfect’ or below perfection level etc.
Hey, have you ever thought about who is perfect? I knew one boss who used to claim herself as a perfectionist & always try to find deficiencies within others. Honestly speaking I did find many deficiencies among herself & started thinking that due to her imperfect attitude she was making the life of other employees – a complete disaster. I will write another blog about job- hopping in relation to this.
Actually perfect is a relative terminology as we know. What is perfect from your perception might not work in the same way because a person is unique . our perception is based on the fact–how we react & interpret different sensations. Every person had grown up in a different environment & through different set up & so reacting to stimuli also differ . Our way of reacting or behaving is actually our personality. Do you know about your personality?? the way how do you behave?? Is it based on Ego or Id or superego??
For eg– 1. foundation of personality development actually starts with you at the year of 1 year & 6 months to 3 years. As per Freud’s consent, in this anal stage, the child undergoes bowel movement through toilet training. If a child goes through a bad phase then energy is fixated which can be reflected later in a negative way like rigidity, negative mood or through disordered personality.
2. Our personality structure is built on 3 pillars–ID, EGO & SUPER-EGO. We all know that Id is operated on pleasure-the seeking principle(attending at immediate gratification), Ego is based on reality principle &the super ego is based on morality principle(moral principle–right or wrong). The Ego tries to mediate always in between the two & as a layman, I can say that whichever wins, thus reflect in our behaviour. for eg– if the personality of one person is based on harsh super-ego then it will make people feel bad or will judge other people in a negative way who can’t follow a certain standard.
3. As we grow up we gather experience & during our teenage period we certainly pass through phases –identity crisis(who am I), peer pressure etc & if we have any harsh period that we experienced that might also remain in our subconscious mind & might comes later during our life cycle.. Some of us developed resilience, have the power of optimism, do the practice of positive affirmation where someone developed negative psychological factors like anger, pessimism.
Now suppose one has anger but also has defensive pessimism in his attitude. Do you know defensive pessimism acts as a catalyst for us to help us to be on track in advance? So how can judge other persons when some deficiencies might be within us?? When our knowledge is limited to know others? Nothing can be fixed as perfect or ideal as all these are relative terminologies.
O.K let’s take examples from the different aspects to relate the reasons not to judge people from our perception.–
Consider the health definition according to-who–‘“A state of complete physical, mental and social. well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity”
Infirmity means physical or mental weakness. O.k if you see others even fit physically & mentally -you can’t claim that his health is perfect. Why?? because while he has to fulfil other determinant-social well being. Now within society one might have problems in social interaction or for the last few days, he quarrelled with his spouse, boss, friends. That means he is suffering from health problems & despite fulfilling other conditions, he is sick.
So, can you claim anyone having perfect health?? It might be comparatively better than other fellows.
Dear friend, is it possible for us to say who is the richest?? Never. One might be relatively well in regards to the wealth & monetary aspect than some of the other societal members.
Here also we can’t figure out any person who is topmost in the social hierarchy? To you, it might be your immediate boss who acquired that position after few years of struggle. To others, it could be – manager or board of directors.
And during job loss, industrial closure, superannuation–position again changes.
So can you fix anyone in a perfect position?? Never….
The Problem starts when people having negative psychology or negative mind are in power & controller of thousands of population. Their negative attitude sometimes mixes with power & make dependents or subordinates life -a disaster.
Carl Jung had rightly quoted–“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people”
We see that if we raise one finger towards others–three fingers are pointing towards us.
Raising fingers can be for the sake of modification & wellbeing of other persons.
According to Abraham mass-law(a great American Psychologist)–“What is necessary to change a persons to change his awareness of himself”.
Believe me, if you can help people to help themselves, gradually every people will be in a position to explore their inner potentialities to be self- independent with respect to physically, mentally, economically & socially. But not obviously judging people from your own perception would serve the purpose..
Do You know what we have been trained on during the social work training?? Be non-judgemental & use the principle of acceptance. Along with empathy & the above- mentioned qualities, anyone in our society can make others change- makers to make a society, full of peace lovers, having a helping attitude not a self-centred successful person.
Because Today’s world want more & more peace- loving & helping persons, a persons with self not successful persons.
To quote John Dewey(A great philosopher & educator)– “The self is not something readymade but something is continuous formation through choice of action”.
I do admit the above- mentioned discussion might not be perfect or less perfect to find out reasons -we should not judge people from our perception. We all will try not to be perfectionists or finding perfection from our own perception, rather it will be our joint effort towards bringing a change to a new normal—-a new world.
YOUR FEEDBACK IS WELCOME.